A HORRIFYING SWIM

Here is an example of a story with a good plot. Read and highlight the use of interesting phrases which are precise. Many students tend to memorise bombastic words and try to insert into their essays. The words or phrases must be suitable. Originally, this was just a 150-word essay. I have expanded it by using dialogues and more details.

     It was a school holiday. Rahman woke up at the crack of dawn and headed for Ah Chong’s house. The boys had agreed to meet Sean and Sasi, their classmates. It was a perfect day for a swim. Although they were all strong swimmers, Rahman’s mother had cautioned him against going for a swim. A week earlier, their neighbour's son had nearly drowned in that river.

    “Splash!” Hassan dived off the rock into the inviting river. The water was deep but he was not worried. After all, he was an excellent swimmer and a certified lifeguard. He knew the waters in the area well as he often swam there. He persuaded the rest of the boys to follow him up to a higher waterfall. They clambered up the boulders. “Let’s jump!” an exhilarated Rahman shouted. The boys plunged in together, screaming in delight.

      Suddenly, Sean was tumbling out of control. The water smashed him over and over again. The current had smashed the other boys against a rock and they managed to pull themselves out from the raging water. At first, they could not see Sean. Then, as the waves subsided, they saw Sean’s half-submerged figure, face down. Rahman dived into the water immediately. He knew that every second counted. Swimming strongly, he got to Sean in no time. With Sasi and Ah Chong’s help, they managed to pull Sean out of the water and onto the rock.

      “Oh God, let him not be dead!” Rahman pleaded. Sean looked so blue. The others stood, paralyzed, not knowing what to do. Rahman grabbed Sean’s wrist but he could not feel any pulse. He remembered what his teacher had told him. A drowning victim had to receive artificial breathing within four minutes or he would die. With his lifeguard training in his mind, Rahman immediately drew Sean’s head back and clamped his mouth over him. He began pumping breath into Sean’s lungs as Sasi compressed Sean’s chest while keeping count. Suddenly, Sean gurgled and threw up. They continued breathing and pumping. “Keep going. One of us has to go for help. Sasi, you are the fastest. Run home and get help. Ask someone to call for an ambulance. Quick.....”

      After thirty minutes, and what seemed like a lifetime, Rahman felt something moved against him. Sean’s leg had jerked against him. He felt for a pulse. “Sean’s breathing....” Rahman cried. Just then, they heard an ambulance. “You are going to be alright’ he assured Sean. Within minutes, the paramedics had lifted him to the ambulance and headed for the nearby hospital. At the hospital, the boys were so thankful that Sean was going to be alright and they had saved his life. Rahman’s mother gave him a stern lecture. Rahman felt bad and regretted not listening to his mother. 

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Describe an afternoon at the bus station

It was two o’clock in the afternoon. I was heading towards the bus station with Mohan after Mrs Wong’s extra class. The sun was beating mercilessly on my back and I could feel my sweat trickling down my spine. I have often wished that my mother would allow me to ride a motorcycle to school. She says that I am not ready but we both know that she is terrified that a car would knock me down.

When I reached the bus station, it was nearly empty except for a handful of boys. Mohan and I strode to a bench near the stationmaster’s office. I could feel the tension on my shoulders as the straps of my school bag ate into my shoulder. “Where is the bus?” I sighed to myself. An elderly woman came and asked me where I was going. She started a conversation but gave up after my monosyllable answers. 

Suddenly, someone shouted and I saw a bus swerved into the station. I got up, thankful for the chance to escape from the woman. . It was Mohan’s bus. The group of boys were jostling each other to get into the bus. “Masuk! Masuk!” shouted the conductor but nobody seemed to be moving. The black fumes made me nauseous. All of a sudden, people started appearing from all directions to board their bus. In no time, the passengers were packed like sardines in the bus. It started to move, leaving some unfortunate passengers behind. I waved at Mohan when I noticed him dangling on the steps of the bus. The bus swerved out of the station again. It left another trail of black smoke.

I decided to go to Panjang’s ice stall. The iced sugar cane juice soothed my parched throat as I sipped slowly, all the while keeping an eye on the bus. Then I saw the bus heading towards the station. I paid for my drinks. “See you tomorrow,” I waved to Panjang.

Once more, the crowd began to swell near the bus. I noticed that the elderly woman was being shoved around by the boys. She started hitting them with her umbrella. Then, I saw Raja, my classmate at the back of the bus. I hurled my bag through the window and he caught it. By the time I got into the bus, it had already started moving. I got into my seat and told myself that I must really try to convince my mother about the motorcycle again.

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My Best Friends

Close friendships are hard to come by these days. In an ever-changing world with people striving to achieve their interpretation of preordained success, it is hard to know who your true friends are. Fortunately, I found my best pal early at the tender age of seven. We were both enrolled at the same school and were at wits’ ends as we searched tirelessly for our designated classes.

Samantha and I got acquainted as both of us were in the same class and sat next to each other. Samantha was a happy-go-lucky girl who always managed to breathe fresh air into the sometimes arid classroom. She always knew what to say and would voice them at the best possible moments. Both pupils and teachers alike enjoyed her company and liveliness. There was hardly ever a dull moment when she was around with her funny quips and expressions. 

Samantha was born with a silver spoon. Her father was a businessman and her mother owned and ran a boutique. Both her parents were very caring towards her as she, just like I, was the only child of the family. Samantha came to school each day with a perpetual smile. She was a very nice person to be around with. She and I used to go everywhere together and both of us were rarely seen apart. We used to talk about so many things as we walked, thoroughly enjoying our time together.

One day, I went to school and forgot to ask my parents for lunch money. At first, I was not hungry and thought I could bear going without a meal but soon, my stomach began to growl. Without asking, Samantha generously paid for my meal and drinks during recess. The incident revealed to me how lucky I was to have such a caring and compassionate friend.

As time went on, people started teasing us as we were spending more and more time together. We seemed to know what each other thought and we cared for each other deeply. Was I in love with her? I did not know then and we both knew we were too young for all that emotional roller coaster.

Currently, Samantha and I are studying at different schools. It was hard to be apart at first, but technology in the form of instant messaging and e-mails have helped to bridge the gap in our friendship. I sincerely wish our friendship will never end as it would be equivalent to waking up from a beautiful dream.

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Friend

This friend I have is special, whilst young, intelligent and righteous. He lives with me since he was born, a pleasure to have all these years.The strength to face each day can sometimes be drawn from knowing him.

When I watch him dribble around with the ball at the street soccer court then knocking it into the goal leaving the opponent frustrated there is unspeakable pride and joy emitting from the core of my heart. How this fine young man has grown from a novice soccer player just three years ago to a forwarder that instill fear to defenders who have to mark him. A elusive player who pass his opponent with ease and elegant he can match the highest standard of the land.

The fond memories of the time we spend together still lingers in my mind. Bringing him to the movies, watching him fight with his sisters still sits in my mind. When he is younger, he never kept still and even climb out of the cradle that is meant to restrain him. That is when he is only two years old and that time nearly got a spanking from his grand mother.

The coolest transformation is his hair. It uses to be always gelled and groomed into the "curry puff" look that is the trademark look that signifies his childhood days. Curry puff is a local snacks that has ultra ordinary puff when fried. Youth has robbed away that and reinstall a new image to befit the modern time. The "anime" type spike hairstyle is now the replacement. Skinny jeans with a smart tee shirts is the order of the day when he needs to go for a outing. While I would prefer him to be in long sleeved shirt and a business pant, his peer may feel out of place with this sort of strange outfit.

Our favorite chat always centered on his favorite Barclay Premier League Club Chelsea and my Manchester United Football Club. Our exchange on the matter can turn into a feisty with each not giving way to the other. Glorified Manchester United has done it once again but the arrival of Ancelloti this season and the departure of Christano Ronaldo has up the challenge for the rivals.

Every weekend is spent at the soccer field where we conduct soccer lessons for children under ten. He is my coach while I am his manager and together we managed to keep soccer alive for these kids who showed up every weekend. Our effort has rewarded us with two championship through the years and the greatest pride is the one that Chris has played in.

Chris is more of a friend than a son, we spend our time together like most friends do. I am proud of him both as a friend and a son.

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